


Chains of Freedom

by beingzen



Series: DGM with OC [4]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Manga Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-09
Updated: 2014-07-09
Packaged: 2018-02-08 02:12:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1922844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beingzen/pseuds/beingzen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His freedom came at a cost she could never begin to understand, but he still came back. If only the bleary future looked as good as that night.</p><p>Spoilers for the last of the Manga.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chains of Freedom

**Author's Note:**

> SPOILER ALERT! For those of you who haven't read the manga and don't like spoilers: DON'T READ! You've been warned.

Sol was running through the corridors of the Black Order as if the Earl himself was after her. She was tripping over her own feet and panting as she literally flew past finders and scientists and even Fou herself without so much as an apology, skidding on turns and narrowly avoiding obstacles. She only had one thought in mind:  _I wanna see him! I wanna see him! I wanna see him!_

It hadn't been long ago that the Millennium had kidnapped them and Allen fought him and his family. Not long ago Kanda had finally found  _him._  And as she struggled uselessly with her bindings, Sol watched breathlessly the fight to the death her most beloved person engaged in with the one and only he'd been looking for little under a decade.

_That person..._

Sol had always looked forward and dreaded the day when Kanda would finally lay eyes on  _that person_ , but nothing could have prepared her for the onslaught of emotions that flooded her world that night. The knowledge that Alma Karma was indeed someone more important to Kanda than anything she could ever even fathom being crushed her soul at the same time the fear that Kanda might never get to tell Alma  _anything_  wretched her heart and she couldn't, for the life of her, decide on what feeling she would hold on to.

And just like that, with grateful words towards the Beansprout he'd always cherished and a true smile, Kanda was gone.

Sol didn't know where they'd gone off to or what had happened to them or even if they were still alive. All Sol could do was wait and hope with whatever remainder of her feelings she could hope with. She kept quiet most of the time, hiding her heartbreak and trying to maintain a fair resemblance of morale through her loss and through the news that Lavi's group had also fallen, Allen's imprisonment and escape and Chaoji's condition. Only Marie, being Marie, could actually hear the screaming inside her head when she held her sister in her arms at night as the youngest cried for her redhead. Only Marie knew that the only reason that still bound Sol to the order was Luna and only Marie could worry about such a thing in the dark of night, where no ears spied upon them in their sleep.

Everything seemed to be happening so fast, all at the same time and there was nothing Sol could think to do but fight the desire to scream her frustration to the walls of her room while the rest of the order slept and try to not look at Lenalee's defeated face, or she would punch some fighting spirit into her. 

'What am I even doing?'

So when she heard from Marie that he'd found Kanda there was nothing that would have stopped her from running to him, her heart leaping and skipping beats or mixing them together as her legs ached while moving.

She found him in old master Zu's room. She just knew he was going to be there. Mugen was there after all. Her relief was such that she wanted to cry and her knees felt weak. She leaned on the door frame to steady herself as she watched Kanda drink his innocence from Lenalee's hands and bring Mugen back to life and though she was aware she should have been as outraged as Komui and Bak, her heart couldn't muster such a thing. The only feeling it managed in between its frantic pace and immobility instances was relief. 

Then, it all turned into deep corrosive heartache and pain. With a single look from Kanda's dark eyes, the doubt of what finally,  _finally_  finding Alma meant for Kanda hit Sol like a ton of bricks. Sol's hand wanted to touch him to make sure her eyes and ears weren't playing any tricks on her, but she knew she couldn't. There was a tall and thick wall between them now that translated into a massive lack of words and meaningful stares.

Sol opened and closed her mouth uselessly for a couple of seconds, not sure where to start before realizing that people were staring and it probably wasn't a very good idea to let Leverrier know they were- used to be- and item.

'Baka!' she hissed in Japanese 'You were free.' Then, with an incredible amount of hesitation in her movements, she turned around, proudly walking away, successfully deceiving the intended people in the room that she was but a mere comrade who was glad for the safe return of one of the very few exorcists, whose numbers seemed to have no way of increasing, and as her footsteps took her back to the gate to the arch, Sol couldn't lie to herself. She was happy with Kanda's return to the order…and she felt like shit for it.

Sol finally collapsed at an empty corridor somewhere in the Asian branch, her knees that had bravely held her upright until that moment gave out and she sobbed her fears and insecurities into the palms of her hands, silently thanking the God she did not believe anymore; thanking Him for things she wasn't even sure of herself. She only needed a moment to calm herself down before she reached Gate 6 to the arc, back to HQ…

Why were they still using the arc was something she could not wrap her head around. Were they actually expecting the exorcists to bring Allen back if he used it? Better yet, were they actually stupid enough to think that Allen would use it himself? Sol cleaned her tears and straightened up.  _War isn't over yet. We have suffered heavy casualties. I can't kneel here, crying like a love struck teenager. I don't have that right._

With those thoughts in mind the curly haired Exorcist made her way to the glowing Gate and thanked the scientists managing it, with a smile that cleverly concealed all traces that she'd been crying before.

_I will not cry anymore._

Sol walked proudly and briskly through the corridors of HQ with her head held high and with all the confidence an exorcist should wear upon themselves, determined to make some changes.

_I will not hesitate anymore._

She reached her room soon enough and stepped in with a deep sigh, closing the door behind herself and stripping down to her underwear. She then grabbed Coloso from her bed, where she'd lay it and walked to the front of her body mirror.

'I will not lose this fight anymore.' She whispered with conviction before she grabbed her curly long hair at the back of her head and, with a clean and somewhat painful slash from her Innocence, she cut it. The lovely loops of brown fell haphazardly at her feet in a sea of velvety circles, but she wasn't looking at them. She stepped over her discarded hair, got herself a robe and headed for the shower with a lighter head and a lighter heart.

-o0o-

Sol went about her day as if nothing was wrong with the world, like she'd been doing for the past few weeks, when she was trying to keep a straight face as she broke inside. This time though, she had a definite touch to her strides as she entered the cafeteria for diner. Few noticed, but the ones with the keenest eye or the ones that knew her. One such person was Marie. The big man, however, and as per his custom, preferred to remain quiet about it.

'Can I have some Bolognese spaghetti and some orange juice, Jerry, please.' Sol ordered with a small smile. The cook smirked knowingly, blinked an eye and served her.

'You look a lot younger now, dear!' The man commented, but the glint in the corner of his eye as he prepared her food told her that Jerry was a lot more observant than people gave him credit for. 'Luna-chan's already at the table.'

Sol smiled at him in thanks, picked up her food and left.

'I like your new look.' The younger Avila commented as Sol sat at the table next to her.

'I thought I needed a bit of a change.' Sol explained. 'This way it won't interfere when I fight.'

Her sister smiled sadly at Sol. She knew perfectly well that her sister's hair never interfered with her skills, but she also thought that it was enough mourning and it was time to actually  _do_  something. Both sisters ate their diner in silence. Nothing else was needed to be said between them after all…

She was finished by the time a finder called her:

'Sol! Division Head Reever wants to see you!' and Sol gave him a thumbs up as an answer.

'Debe ser una misión. Te veo luego, hermanita…' (Must be a mission. I'll see you later, little sister...) the curly haired exorcist said as she left.

Sol thought some resemblance of normality would be in order with her new mission and a bit of time away before Master Zu's funeral would do some good to her confidence. She only hoped she'd be paired up with Marie. Working with Lenalee had become even more of a drag than usual.

Sol reached the Sup's office in less time than usual due to her eagerness to just get away. She didn't even notice people around her or the path she'd taken, but her good spirits died down instantly before she had a chance to knock on the door.

'…Kanda doing well?' Reever's voice asked from the other side of the door. 'Since he went straight to the Asia branch I didn't have time to see him…how are his Injuries?'

Sol bit her lip. She did not want to eavesdrop, it wasn't her business…but she was weak to Kanda and it didn't matter how many times she cut her hair that would never change.

'…What's that supposed to mean? He went off somewhere?'

Sol never got to find out why would Reever be looking for her. Before the Head of Department could even finish his sentence, she had vanished. She didn't have a single clue where she'd start looking for Kanda, but Allen Walker had to have left some clues…Sol just hoped Kanda hadn't left too long ago or it'd be impossible to follow him. She kept revising her strategy to find the albino teen whilst on her way to her room to get packed. She was so absorbed into her own thoughts and looking at the floor as she walked that she didn't notice the tall figure standing by her door with an uneasy look on his face and trying too hard to not look like we wanted to blend in with the wall until she reached her hand to the knob and found a clothed stomach instead.

'Kanda?!'

'Shh!' hissed the dark haired samurai as he covered her mouth with his hand and puller her into the room, locking the door behind their backs.

Sol didn't have a chance to recover from her shock, though; as soon as Kanda's hand left her mouth, it was replaced by the man's own lips. Kanda pressed himself flush with Sol as he kissed her. His eyes were closed, his hands caressed Sol's cheeks and his hot body trapped the Caribbean teen against the door, although Sol had no intention of un-trapping herself. She eagerly responded to the kiss, opening her mouth and welcoming Kanda's tongue inside in a passionate dance; her back arched off the door to try and get even closer to the Japanese man and her hands found purchase in the back of Kanda's jacket…his exorcist jacket…

That realization knocked her out of her passionate embrace and she pushed Kanda at arm's length, breathing hard and keeping her head down, while whispering Kanda's name desperately.

'You…I mean, I…' she tried, but her words died down in her throat before she even made sense of all the things she  _needed_  to say and all the things she  _wanted_  to say. In the end, the only word that left her lips was Alma's name in a broken whisper.

The seconds ticked by in silence until Sol's impatience got the better of her and she dared look up with wet eyes of unshed tears.

Kanda was smiling. He held her hands gently in his and pulled her to her bed, where he sat next to her. The Asian man's voice was calm yet full of emotion as he told her the story Allen had witnessed with his own eyes from Alma Karma's memories. He told her of his own memories as well and he told her of the old love and the new love he'd been feeling and he never let go of her hands or her gaze. His eyes held such an amount of emotion they hadn't done so in years, but behind the peaceful closure, love and devotion, she also saw a glimpse of something dark and raw.

'I was always yearning to find him. He was the person I was in love with before I was reborn into this world.' He explained. 'I loved that person and I loved Alma. I'll never forget him…'

Sol listened intently and drank every single word as if they were the last of the water in the world and it hurt so much. It hurt to be trusted with this story of tragedy. It hurt to listen to her beloved talk of a time he'd always tried to hide, but never forget and never forgive. It hurt so much to finally understand. But what hurt the most was the realization that came with it…

'I love you too…' Kanda said in the same low voice that betrayed all of his feelings in rivulets of truth.

...the realization that Kanda had been loving so earnestly all these years. He'd been loving the woman from his past, Alma, his friends…and he'd been loving her as well.

'I knew I'd never be able to make you believe me when I said these words to you, Sol, without telling you all this…I saw you hurting, yet I couldn't do it.'

'You weren't ready to.' She spoke for the first time, voice raspy from the knot in her throat and the effort of biting back her tears. She felt like a complete douche for never really completely believing his confessions of love and yet she knew he also understood why she didn't. All of a sudden the wall that had been between them dissipated into nothing but desire and yearning and lust and the pair had no second thoughts about acting up on it as their lips met yet again in a kiss they'd shared so many times and yet, this time it was so new. The bonds of love they shared had never been truer than at that moment and Kanda didn't need to say another word. He simply kissed Sol indefinitely and touched everywhere his roaming hands could reach, pulling at clothes and discarding them over the side of the bed. His jacket and shirt followed suit.

Sol's heart soared through worlds of happiness as she was pushed down on the bed, accommodating Kanda in between her legs, her own searching hands gliding over his masculine back and chest, teasing a nipple with the fingers of one hand, while her other hand traced happy little trails, slowly down his abdomen, until she found the obstruction of his belt and her fingers retraced their path back up his abs, to his back and down his spine.

Kanda moaned into the kiss at the sensations teasing his body. Throughout the year they'd been together, Sol had learned where he was most sensitive. She'd taken a liking to his reactions and sounds and she was pro at playing with his body. She nibbled on his ears, gently whispering dirty little nothings into them, before moving onto his jaw and neck, leaving love bites in his collarbones, while her devious fingers teased his nipples and abs. She pushed him down on the bed, reversing their positions and straddling him, kissing him as she dextrously unbuckled his belt and rocking her hips on his erection.

There was no way Kanda could have stopped the groan of pleasure from slipping past his lips, but he didn't want to. His whole body burned with lust and passion, raw desire taking over his thoughts. He ran his large hands through Sol's sides, caressing her abdomen with his thumbs as he went up and stroked her back on his way to her bra's clasp. Gone was the restriction of Sol's plump breasts, but he didn't touch them straight away. Instead, Kanda traced Sol's spine all the way to the base, over her panties, slowly, making her arch back with a small whine and brace her palms on his pectorals. Kanda drank the sight like a starving man, the definition of complete debauchery.

Sol bent forward and kissed Kanda's lips once again as she rocked her hips over Kanda's front. He felt her breasts rubbing against his chest, big, soft and hot. His hands helped her rocking movements by squeezing her buttocks firmly under the fabric of her underwear.

That had to go.

They somehow managed to get rid of their bottoms though a lot of messy movements and sloppy kisses they didn't really want to stop, ending up sitting up against the headboard. Kanda pulled Sol's back flush against his chest with his hands, caressing her abdomen, up her sides and arms and back down again as their heads turned to return to kissing the life out of each other's lips. He finally touched her round breasts, lifting them up and pinching lightly at her nipples, making Sol moan into his mouth, her body heating up and rocking sensually in unconscious waves as the pleasure invaded and took over all her senses. She felt Kanda's hands part her legs shamefully wide and hold them around the ankles with his feet. She felt Kanda's arousal, big and hard and hot, rubbing lightly against her coccyx. One of his hands went back to massaging her breast while the other descended to her most private area, stroking it languidly and sending a shiver of pure pleasure through her entire body with a moan.

'You're so wet down here, Sol.' Kanda whispered directly into her ear, licking it right after, making her whimper as she held onto his neck with one arm and the bed sheet with the other hand. 'I want to hear your voice as I make you cum.'

Sol moaned loudly in response. Satisfied, Kanda started to slowly stroke back and forth between her labia and clitoris, before finally inserting a finger into her. He repeatedly thrust it in and out a few times, slowly, then faster, making sure to keep rubbing as much skin as he could and never stopping. Then he added a second, bending them slightly and rubbing her walls until they became so sensitive she could see stars.

Sol's mouth opened in a soft gasp, her grip tightened as he muscles became taut and she spasmed lightly, her orgasm causing her body to clamp down on Kanda's fingers. He moaned in appreciation and anticipation.

He waited a whole minute for Sol to come back from her high. When she did they kissed again, slower and wantonly. He manoeuvred her back on the bed and positioned himself in between her thighs.

'I'm not gonna last long…' he said into her lips. Sol grabbed Kanda's erect penis in one hand, stroking it once and then twice before bringing it to her entrance, her eyes never leaving Kanda's.

'Inside…Kanda…'

No second requests were needed and Kanda had to stop quiet for a few moments in order not to cum immediately.

'Tight…'he groaned. He kissed Sol's lips again as he started moving, aware of the fact that entering always hurt her a bit, but as he thrust shallowly her breathing accelerated in pleasure, her legs parted wider and she crossed her ankles around his back, holding on tightly and rocking her hips back and forth to meet Kanda's thrusts. The thrusting gained speed. Kanda's arms started to shake from the exertion, but he dared not stop. Not when the pleasure mounted so deliciously and his groans became moans louder than Sol's almost silent loving and both teens could feel the impending wave of ecstasy approaching, making their toes curl and their eyes shut. Kanda's lips touched Sol's, exchanging their raged breathing, moaning into her and earning lower moans from her as well.

'I'm cumming…Sol…' he groaned.

'Inside…inside…'Sol repeated breathlessly. 'Kanda-ah!'

They both became undone in white hot pleasure with each other's names on their lips, spasming involuntarily, thrusting sharply still. It took them a while to calm down enough to disentangle from each other. They whimpered when Kanda pulled his now over sensitive penis out from Sol and he lay half on top of her, with his head in the middle of her breasts, her hand on his, while she traced lazy circles on his back. Kanda took great pleasure in the rapid beating of Sol's heart and the fact that it didn't slow down a bit even after their breathing evened out. They simply lay there, on Sol's bed in a tangle of limbs, two warm naked bodies and two hearts beating madly as one.

But the world out there didn't stop just because the two lovers were at peace in that moment and neither did the war and both of them knew that. As she looked at the clock on her wall, Sol realised they would have to get up.

'You're going after Allen.' It wasn't a question. Kanda smirked at the thought that they have been together for so long that Sol could read him so well. 'I will go with you.'

'No' Kanda said, lifting himself on his elbows and kissing Sol's abused lips just because he thought they looked delicious. 'I will become a traitor by doing this, I refuse to drag you along. Besides…' he kissed her once more. 'I'll need someone inside.'

Sol frowned. If she didn't know better, she would have thought Kanda was saying that just to keep her from following him, but she did know better. 'Golems will be monitored.'

'That's why we're using a different connection.' Kanda explained. 'I talked with your sister.'

Sol pouted at the thought of Luna keeping things like these from her, but she knew her sister couldn't talk freely either.

'I'm scared, Kanda. I don't want you to go.' Sol confessed.

Kanda smiled, a true genuine smile and kissed her forehead, her eyelids, her nose and finally her mouth. They kept the kiss simple this time, all lip and no tongue, but not for long.

'I won't die.' Kanda whispered as he touched their foreheads together.

'Your body isn't the same anymore though, is it?' she asked afraid of the answer to this question.

'I won't die, Sol. Even if my body fails me, I will come back again. I am strong.'

'I know you are.' Sol agreed. 'You are way stronger that you let on.'

Kanda frowned at that. Only three people knew about his true strength, but he worried that one day it would become impossible to hide. Sol didn't press, though. Nobody spoke about it before. Tiedoll, Marie and Sol knew that he had reasons so they left him to it…he'd stay like this until he could no longer.

'What motivates you now, Kanda?'

Kanda's answer earned him a passionate kiss that they broke minutes later in favour of the shower, where they proceeded to ravish each other all over again.

Sol had successfully mastered the art of giving Kanda a blowjob that'd make him bite his hand to not scream. The taste of their kisses after that turned him on even more which lead to another round of love making. They thoroughly worshipped each other's bodies, ravishing erogenous spots for all they were worth.

After finally being able to shower, they gathered their clothes and dressed each other in a strangely domestic yet sensual way that they could certainly become used to. When they finished, Sol simply lay her hands against Kanda's chest and looked up at him with earnest.

'I love you, Kanda. Please be careful.' Sol begged as he unlocked the door.

'I'll be back.' Kanda promised with a last kiss before disappearing down the still dark corridor. Sol clenched a fist on the front of her uniform while watching the sun rise.  _Kanda will be fine. He's strong. He'll come back again._

-o0o-

'You guys are lying to me right?'

'We're not lying, nii-san.' Lenalee answered with her stupid happy face that pissed Sol off as Komui had a fit on her, Marie and Lenalee herself.

'You REALLY don't know where Kanda went!?' the supervisor slammed his hands on the table hard enough to knock things over.

'We don't know.' Lenalee kept denying.

'Really, really, really, really, really, really?'

'I DON'T KNOW!' yelled Lenalee. Sol decided it was best leaving the talking to her. One glance at Marie told her he agreed.

-o0o-

Kanda was found passed out in an alleyway by General Tiedoll. He had clearly been fighting. His memories became jumbled in his brain for a moment, thinking things that were not really there and his seal reacted, trying to heal something not even he knew…then he understood…Apocryphos, the man he was fighting was Innocence! Everything happened so quickly…he didn't send Johnny and Allen off, he intended to follow them. Why was that man after Allen? Timcampy was gone...how was he supposed to follow them?

Tiedoll was talking to him, but he couldn't make much sense of the subject as he put the pieces together in his mind.

'At this rate Sol, Marie and Lenalee are going to be taken into custody. You understand?' Tiedoll had said to him when he finally got his head sorted. Shortly after some men shouted that Allen had been seen with Johnny giving both exorcists a sense of urgency.

Kanda didn't need any more motivation. He didn't manage to talk to the Beansprout at all. Allen didn't know a thing…he didn't see them off…

He grabbed Tiedoll by the neck of his uniform in a desperate attempt to… _to what…exactly?_

The general started laughing, then. A hearty, belly laugh that echoed loud in the alley and got the attention of the men that announced Allen's sighting.

'What are you laughing at?!' Kanda yelled at the old man, pissed at being mocked. The old man had gone senile for good hadn't he?

'You really are…ahahaha! That was so awkward.' The general exclaimed between laughs. 'You haven't changed a bit since you were a kid! Making a face as if you were constipated…'

'WHAT?'  _Seriously, what the fuck?!_

'So, do you have a favour to ask of me?' Tiedoll asked with a teary smile due to laughing and a tiny secret blink of an eye that caught Kanda completely by surprise. 'Welcome back, Yu. I am truly happy to see you again.' The old man stood up and Kanda followed suit, realizing he had been sitting on the floor. 'I forgot to let you know earlier. It may appear that I am on a mission to pursuit and capture Kanda Yu…'

Kanda's eyes widened at the news and a single word echoed through his head: _fuck!_

'But I came here with only one intention, that is to protect my cute apprentice, you.' The General continued.  _It seems like everyone is doing their own thing, now._  'Yet it looks like you are up to something quite risky.'

Kanda gritted his teeth, then. '…please, General…'  _this has to be said._  'I'll definitely kill that man when he turns into the “14th”…'  _That's why…_  'That's why…please allow me to go with them. If you don't let me, I will knock you out of consciousness here and now.'

The General stared at his pupil for a couple of seconds, evaluating him. He scratched his nose, then his neck and only then he answered. 'I have already mentioned that you've lost the Central's trust. Besides, there's no room for excuses this time. Who knows what sort of torture they'd put you through in order to pardon you! I'd hate to see that!' then, with a serious look he added: 'Sol'd hate to see that.'

Kanda's heart skipped a beat at the thought and his brain searched for answers that it couldn't find. They came from his very tormentor, instead: 'That's why my condition is…'

_No…_

_'…_ for you to show your loyalty and power to the Central.'

_No…_

'Become a General.'

_NO!_

'It's great timing since we have an opening!' the General sing sang and muttered the name “Cross” with venom. Kanda's heart did several somersaults and fell to his feet in the space of a millisecond, leaving him wordless and stupidly rooted to the spot.

'H-Hold on a second, you…'

'Your abilities have reached the level of a General a long time ago.' Tiedoll finally said it and Kanda had a sense of déjà-vu…brown curly hair and abused lips saying the words he hated…'Haven't you been hiding the fact that you can surpass the critical point?'

_'You are way stronger than you let on.'_

'Or are you just not determined enough…' Tiedoll clearly and somewhat cruelly baited him through the young man's shocked state '…to enter the core of the Black Order that you hate so much?'

Kanda's mind worked a mile per second then, thinking of Johnny...

_I have safely escorted Johnny…_

Thinking of Link, Leverrier and the man he'd fought before...

_But…I've also discovered something suspicious._

Kanda looked at the old man that had always been looking after him and taking care of him like a parent to a child. Johnny would be fine…Leverrier and Apocryphos on the other hand…

_There are still things I must do…since the moment I took Mugen back to kill that man…I had already prepared myself to shoulder any hardships._

Kanda closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He thought of dark honey coloured eyes, a bubbly smile and sun kissed skin and faced the General with conviction.

'Very well!'

-o0o-

Somewhere under the same sky, in the same city, Allen walker realized something very important…

_“Mana” is the cause of everything!!!_

**Author's Note:**

> What have I just written! I am so blushing like the virgin I am! That lemon took years of my life! All that research and I go and ruin it!
> 
> On another note: I wish Hoshino Katsura would come back with more D.Gray goodness. I mean, she left it in the best part! Almost at the end! We can only speculate about what happens and what happened (you know, to Mana and Neah).
> 
> I seriously love Kanda x Sol and I seriously love Alma Karma!


End file.
